Friday, October 27, 2006

Explosion!


My roommate Jewell Marceau kept a diary. I would periodically read her latest entries so I could remain apprised of her activities. It entertained me to surreptitiously delve into her inner torment and I only occasionally read her writings to other people. She got really upset when she found out that I was invading her privacy. I told her she was a dumbass for keeping a diary in an accessible place like the safe in her closet, particularly since she had used her birthdate as the combination for the safe. She may as well have issued me a written invitation to break into it. In any case, Jewell made a big show of burning her diary on the kitchen stove on the day she finally figured out I'd been perusing her journal entries for the past year. Her theatrics did not fool me. I knew she was going to start another diary and I knew I was going to find it. Jewell works all day and I stay home all day. Time was on my side.

It took less than a week for me to discover sheets of notebook paper taped to pages inside a book on one of her shelves. I threw a pack of popcorn kernels in the microwave and sat down on our couch to catch up on her current triumphs, trials, and tribulations. Imagine my shock at finding that she had devoted several entries exclusively to insulting me! One of them began:

"Tanya, you are a fat piece of shit and I knew that you would end up reading this. You belong in a trailer park with a bunch of mouthbreathing idiots. Did your mother use drugs when she was pregnant with you? It's amazing that you are not completely illiterate and are able to read this at all.."

I got no farther than that because Jewell came storming in the room right at that moment and we were both mad as hell. The popcorn was still popping in the microwave as we exploded into battle..


Join
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- XXOO Tanya










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